Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize