I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
