drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
