so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
