I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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