we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My feet surprised me
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