the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
