I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
