It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
