Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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