I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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