My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
