everyone is single if you try hard enough
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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