So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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