Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
