oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
