Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
