Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
