I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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