Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
