so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Drake has all the answers
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
