Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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