office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize