no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
