You just made me feel so damn special
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize