Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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