every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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