like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
