Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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