i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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