It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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