It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
