Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
