the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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