either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
