what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
