yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
