i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
