Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
