After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
40s are totally the cure
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
