According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
