I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
