she was so not down for the gang bang
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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