That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
