Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
