Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
