Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
