I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
