Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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