i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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