i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we're making bets on your personal life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
