I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
