ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
