Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
