I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
