I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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