i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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